“Secrets can harm you. To uncover them, learn to read
body language.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator
& Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)
“How To Expose Hidden Secrets By Reading Body
To interpret someone’s body gestures accurately, you must
understand the meaning of their movements and verbal utterances.
And that’s how you expose their hidden secrets. Because reading
body language is like peeping into someone’s mind, it’s a skill
that enhances your negotiation efforts too. To interpret
someone’s body language accurately, you should observe the
Using Power Words
You can’t make me. Oh, yes, I can. No, you can’t. You might
remember hearing such words when you were a kid. During such times,
when kids spoke those words, they were spurred to adopt one
position versus another. And even though you’re not a kid any
longer, you can still use words to motivate someone to expose
themselves. But wait, you may be thinking – this is about reading
body language. And you’re right, it is. You can use words,
coupled with your body language gestures, to create emotional
movement and displays in others. And that’s how you can unlock
their hidden secrets.
Power words (e.g., I will, I’m sure, that’s right) make you
appear more assured of your position, compared to assertions that
project a less compelling image (e.g., maybe, I think, possibly).
When you use powerful words, coupled with a decisive body language
gesture and verbal signaling (i.e., leaning forward, speaking more
forcibly and at a quickened pace), you promote a defiant image that
signals, don’t be trivial with me – I’m on to you. That
persona enhances the thought that you may know more than your
target suspects. If you intentionally choose to be less challenging
and decided to use less forceful words, you’d adopt a softer body
language posture to affect your façade, one that was less
to watch a brief video about Power Words.
Body Language Inducing Fear
Think of a growling dog for a moment. Did you imagine saliva
oozing out of its mouth? If you’ve ever had a bad experience with
a dog that frightened you, you probably had a flashback to that
experience a moment ago. How did you feel then and how do you feel
right now? Did your heart rate increase then? Is it elevated right
now, just thinking about the situation?
Fear shows itself through widened eyes, quick breathing,
elevated perspiration. If an attempt to mask it occurs, it may also
show through a change in speech pace, and more touching of one’s
self. Those actions are an unconscious attempt to relieve the
stress that one is experiencing.
You can induce the fear factor into a discussion by injecting an
unpleasant memory into the mind of your target, and implying that
you know they’re not truthful with you. To enhance your efforts,
use assumptive questions (questions that suggest you know more than
you’re letting on – e.g., you know I know you’re not telling
me the real story – don’t you?) Lean forward as you make your
pronouncement. And watch the demeanor the person adopts. Note if
they appear frightened per the signs mentioned (e.g., widening of
the eyes, mouth agape, clutching themselves for protection or
comfort) to indicate that.
I’ve already mentioned a few ways you can solicit information
to unlock secrets based on the posture you adopt (i.e., leaning
forward, back, coupled with using the appropriate words to suit the
persona you wish to project, etc.). The following are additional
ways to propel your image and to unlock someone’s secrets.
Strong Image – Hands on your hips, a snarl on your face,
coupled with words that are sharp, short, and poignant – This
image conveys a no-nonsense stance. And it can be used when
attempting to enhance the intimidation factor in someone.
Subdued Image – Hands spread apart, palms turned upward, a
smile on your face – This persona signifies that you’re open to
listening to the other person’s side of a story. Adopt this
demeanor when you’ve gained the cooperation of the other party.
Do it to display that you’re not out to harm him as the result of
him telling you his secret.
Be Reflective – People unconsciously adhere to the wishes of
others when they perceive their actions stemming from others that
they’ve emitted. Thus, to control someone’s thought process
better, mimic their movements and words to convey that the two of
you are alike. Subliminally, they’ll see their reflection in you
and open up. But, if after several occurrences of mimicking them,
they don’t open up, stop imitating them. Instead, initiate a more
doubting posture (e.g., crossing your arms, closing your hands to
indicate how dire the situation is, etc.).
When that person begins to mirror your movements, start
questioning them more intensely. At that point, they’ve started
to follow your lead, which means they’re more susceptible to
being more truthful. Be aware of the time spent in your attempts to
extract someone’s secrets. That will also have an impact on their
willingness to separate themselves from their secrets.
There are seven micro-expressions generic to everyone on earth
– they’re displayed approximately for one-quarter of a second.
That means everyone will react the same way to the same stimuli no
matter where they live in the world. Once you become astute at
identifying micro-expressions, you’ll have additional insight per
someone’s inner emotional state. The seven micro-expressions
Fear – When detecting genuine fear, look
for raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips with the bottom
lip protruding downward.
Anger – Anger is denoted by lowered
eyebrows and flaring nostrils reminiscent of a bull before
Disgust – This micro-expression is
displayed by the upper lip turned up, while the nose is
Surprise – You’ll recognize surprise
through raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and open mouth.
Contempt – This gesture appears as a sneer.
You’ll note it by one corner of the mouth turned upward.
Sadness – Note sadness through drooping
eyelids and downturned lips. A change in voice inflection and
tonality may also accompany genuine sorrow.
Happiness – Happiness is shown through
wide-eyes with crow’s feet or wrinkles at their corners, a smile,
and raised cheeks. A degree of exuberance may also accompany this
Click here to hear more about the seven micro-expressions that are
generic to everyone on earth.
When you’re questioning someone, their heightening degree of
stress signals how close you are to exposing their secrets. Be
aware of those signals. Noting them will allow you to unlock more
secrets. It will also be an indicator that you’re reading their
body language accurately. And everything will be right with the
Remember, you’re always negotiating!
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After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d
like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
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“How To Expose Hidden Secrets By Reading Body Language” –
Negotiation Tip of the Week appeared first on The Master Negotiator &
Body Language Expert.