Category: Decision Making

Source: Stanford Business School

I recently listened to a
highly informative podcast episode featuring Stanford
University strategic communications lecturers Matt Abrahams and
Lauren Weinstein. In the episode, they describe several
effective strategies for communcating complex ideas to an audience
that may not have the background or expertise in that particular
domain. Abrahams and Weinstein describe how the "curse of
knowledge" gets in the way for many experts. They have so much
knowledge that they forget how challenging it can be for novices to
understand a particular topic. They assume too much prior
knowledge, and they underestimate how difficult it will be for
novices to follow their line of reasoning. Weinstein offers a
terrific story of how she worked with a speaker to refine a TED
talk. The topic was challenging: treatments for diseases such
as Alzheimer's and dementia. Weinstein provides some rich
detail on they structured the talk to communicate complicated ideas
in a compelling, persuasive, easy-to-understand manner. The
lessons – starting with an engaging story, asking the audience
questions to engage them, and using analogies to explain complex
ideas – are applicable to many different communication
situations. Here's Weinstein explaining her coaching
strategy:

I worked with a TED speaker a while back. His talk was
about a treatment that he developed for age-related diseases, such
as Alzheimer's and dementia. When he first came to me, his first
draft talked a lot about mitochondria and prokaryotic cells and
cell membranes, which was really exciting for him and other
scientists. But speaking to a lay audience, a TED audience, it was
a bit too technical for them and less engaging.

So first, we had him start with a story. So he told the
story of his father who had Alzheimer's disease and what it was
like to see that decline. He established a personal connection. And
he started sharing his content in a way that the audience could
really connect to and relate with. Then he asked the audience
questions. So how many of you — you know someone that's suffered
from Alzheimer's or dementia, so again creating more connection
with the audience to the topic. And then finally, we came up
with an analogy to explain something that was pretty complex. What
we came up with was, in our bodies, we have trillions of cells, and
each of these cells are like tiny little individual cities. And
within these cities, we have factories, which are the mitochondria.
And the job of these factories is to take the oxygen we breathe and
the food we eat and convert it to energy.

The problem is that, often, our factories face oxidative
damage from toxins and environmental stressors. And this sets the
factory walls on fire. The factory walls are made of this delicate
wood and easily set on fire. But that's okay because, normally, our
— we have antioxidants. We have a process for putting out the fire
and rebuilding the factory walls.

But what happens as we age, for some of us, is we become
less efficient at this process. And so essentially, the fires
become much bigger than the firefighters in our body can handle.
And so the fires become out of control. The factory goes down, and
then the entire city goes down. And this is why we see the symptoms
of Alzheimer's, for example.

What he developed is a supplement that's basically a
fire-proof brick. So it comes in and repairs the factory walls with
this fire-proof brick and makes it more resistant to damage so the
factory can be saved as well as even, in some cases, rebuild
itself.

It's really incredible. And my favorite part was, right
after his talk, his daughter-in-law came up to me, and she said,
"For four years, I had no idea what he did. This is amazing. Thank
you so much."

“A bias, like a virus, can be devastating if left
untreated.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator &
Body Language Expert (Click
to Tweet)

(Click to get the book)

“Here’s How To Stop Biases From Killing Your
Negotiation”

What’s your perception of the word, bias – is it good or
bad? What thoughts does that word conjure up in your mind?

He negotiated with people from all ethnic and social
backgrounds. And sometimes, his efforts were thwarted at the
negotiation table. There always seemed to be something he’d not
considered about the personality and history of the people with
whom he’d negotiated. In some cases, he realized he wasn’t
negotiating with someone; instead, they were negotiating against
him – there’s a mindset difference between ‘with’ versus
‘against.’

And then, one day, the thought dawned on him. I’m not
considering the biases of those I’m encountering at the
negotiation table. And I don’t like how I feel when I think of
the word, bias. I’ll think of it as being someone’s preference
in the future. With that small mental shift, from that point
forward, his mentality shifted. And that allowed him to alter how
he negotiated with people.

The questions for you are, what biases or thoughts do you
consider before entering a negotiation? And how quickly do you
adopt the appropriate mental mind-shift and strategy to match the
demeanor that confronts you? The thoughts you ponder and the speed
at which you do will determine how successful you are.

Identification

• Identify the source of biases or the label you choose for it
  for yourself and those with whom you negotiate. If you don’t, you
  decrease the probability of addressing a situation successfully.
  • Is it from a social circle? Social circles can impact a person
    differently than a business or a more personal relationship. Thus,
    when one displays an influencing preference from their social
    associates, they’re also revealing a choice for wanting to be
    accepted by those in that environment. That’s worth noting
    because, once you identify someone’s number one source of
    motivation, you’ll have insight into how you might use that
    person’s preferences to advantage your position (e.g., you might
    cite the group’s norms, and highlight that your negotiation
    counterpart’s viewpoint is outside of those norms. And then you
    might suggest that the group would not think highly of him.) You
    can adopt the same strategy once you identify someone’s other
    sources of motivation. It’s akin to identifying their Achilles
    heel. Once you know what it is, all you have to do is wait for the
    right time to exploit it.

• Is it something ingrained from childhood? When intense
  childhood traumas or beliefs are adopted and accepted by those
  whose minds are impressionable, those beliefs can leave an
  indelible imprint on that person’s outlook about himself and
  others. Thus, dealing with such an individual may require more
  patience and understanding, especially if that’s the cause of
  their interaction consternation. They may display a strong
  preference to an unyielding point of view that sways outside the
  boundaries of the norm, which can serve to highlight a furthering
  degree of challenges you’ll have in dealing with them.

When you encounter this individual type, if such is warranted,
be patient. Let this person speak and ramble to expend his
thoughts. One aspect of this personality type is, he wants you to
hear him. He wants others to understand him and the way he sees his
world. Once he believes you comprehend his viewpoint, he’ll be
more apt to open up. It’s at that point that you’ll have the
opportunity to address him, his preferences, and pointing him in
the direction of your choosing.

• What are his norms, and how far do they extend? Another aspect
  to keep in mind when dealing with someone’s bias is, what rules
  do they abide by, and what views do they hold as truths. While some
  people adhere to standards, others are constrained by them, and
  they rebel.

Once you’ve identified this individual’s driving source,
agree with them to the point of having your agreement serve your
purposes. And break with them, to shock or to display strong
disagreement, when it becomes appropriate. Your efforts should be
geared at bonding when possible and breaking it when necessary.
You’d do that to display at one point you’ll break the bond
when you perceived his views to be out of bounds. If executed
stealthily, you’ll lead the other person without them realizing
what’s occurred. At that point, be sure not to give the
impression that you’re attempting to take advantage of him. If he
senses that, all trust will be lost and you would have wasted your
efforts to that point.

Name It

Biases are perceptional. Thus, you should call it for what it
is. It’s crucial to identify and give extreme biases a name. That
cruciality in naming it becomes heightened when dealing with people
that have widely separate views about an issue. Because in a
worst-case scenario, when dealing with hot button issues or other
inflammatory matters, logic can step aside in someone’s mind and
become replaced by raw emotions(e.g., supremacy, gender, sexual
preferences, etc.). Then, reasoning becomes abandoned. And that’s
the reason to get everything you’re dealing with on the table, so
there’s no ambiguity.

Once again, to deal with a challenge successfully, you must know
the insight of that challenge. And the person with whom you’re
interacting must know that you know, and he buys into,
understanding what the two of you are addressing and why. Thus, the
more the two of you are viewing a situation from the same
perspective, even if you don’t initially agree on the severity of
how things stack up, you have a point of understanding from which
to proceed.

Reflection

Anytime you deal with someone, you’re also dealing with their
emotions, which stem from their biases. To better deal with them,
understand the basis of their preferences and how that drives their
feelings and choices. Once you do, you’ll be able to control them
and the negotiation. And everything will be right with the
world.

Click here to watch a
short video on controlling emotions in a
negotiation.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at
https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d
like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the
Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click
here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Biaes #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage
#readingbodylanguage #Negotiations #Control #Conversations
#NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess
#NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples
#NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage
#Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation
#Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception
#emotionalcontrol #relationships
#BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite
#TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success
#negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation
process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types
#negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement
#howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development
#Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful
#HowToImproveyourself

The post
“Here’s How To Stop Biases From Killing Your Negotiation” –
Negotiation Tip of the Week appeared first on The Master Negotiator &
Body Language Expert.

“Secrets can harm you. To uncover them, learn to read
body language.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator
& Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

“How To Expose Hidden Secrets By Reading Body
Language“

To interpret someone’s body gestures accurately, you must
understand the meaning of their movements and verbal utterances.
And that’s how you expose their hidden secrets. Because reading
body language is like peeping into someone’s mind, it’s a skill
that enhances your negotiation efforts too. To interpret
someone’s body language accurately, you should observe the
following.

Using Power Words

You can’t make me. Oh, yes, I can. No, you can’t. You might
remember hearing such words when you were a kid. During such times,
when kids spoke those words, they were spurred to adopt one
position versus another. And even though you’re not a kid any
longer, you can still use words to motivate someone to expose
themselves. But wait, you may be thinking – this is about reading
body language. And you’re right, it is. You can use words,
coupled with your body language gestures, to create emotional
movement and displays in others. And that’s how you can unlock
their hidden secrets.

Power words (e.g., I will, I’m sure, that’s right) make you
appear more assured of your position, compared to assertions that
project a less compelling image (e.g., maybe, I think, possibly).
When you use powerful words, coupled with a decisive body language
gesture and verbal signaling (i.e., leaning forward, speaking more
forcibly and at a quickened pace), you promote a defiant image that
signals, don’t be trivial with me – I’m on to you. That
persona enhances the thought that you may know more than your
target suspects. If you intentionally choose to be less challenging
and decided to use less forceful words, you’d adopt a softer body
language posture to affect your façade, one that was less
in-your-face.

.

Click here
to watch a brief video about Power Words.

Body Language Inducing Fear

Think of a growling dog for a moment. Did you imagine saliva
oozing out of its mouth? If you’ve ever had a bad experience with
a dog that frightened you, you probably had a flashback to that
experience a moment ago. How did you feel then and how do you feel
right now? Did your heart rate increase then? Is it elevated right
now, just thinking about the situation?

Fear shows itself through widened eyes, quick breathing,
elevated perspiration. If an attempt to mask it occurs, it may also
show through a change in speech pace, and more touching of one’s
self. Those actions are an unconscious attempt to relieve the
stress that one is experiencing.

You can induce the fear factor into a discussion by injecting an
unpleasant memory into the mind of your target, and implying that
you know they’re not truthful with you. To enhance your efforts,
use assumptive questions (questions that suggest you know more than
you’re letting on – e.g., you know I know you’re not telling
me the real story – don’t you?) Lean forward as you make your
pronouncement. And watch the demeanor the person adopts. Note if
they appear frightened per the signs mentioned (e.g., widening of
the eyes, mouth agape, clutching themselves for protection or
comfort) to indicate that.

Stance/Demeanor

I’ve already mentioned a few ways you can solicit information
to unlock secrets based on the posture you adopt (i.e., leaning
forward, back, coupled with using the appropriate words to suit the
persona you wish to project, etc.). The following are additional
ways to propel your image and to unlock someone’s secrets.

Strong Image – Hands on your hips, a snarl on your face,
coupled with words that are sharp, short, and poignant – This
image conveys a no-nonsense stance. And it can be used when
attempting to enhance the intimidation factor in someone.

Subdued Image – Hands spread apart, palms turned upward, a
smile on your face – This persona signifies that you’re open to
listening to the other person’s side of a story. Adopt this
demeanor when you’ve gained the cooperation of the other party.
Do it to display that you’re not out to harm him as the result of
him telling you his secret.

Be Reflective – People unconsciously adhere to the wishes of
others when they perceive their actions stemming from others that
they’ve emitted. Thus, to control someone’s thought process
better, mimic their movements and words to convey that the two of
you are alike. Subliminally, they’ll see their reflection in you
and open up. But, if after several occurrences of mimicking them,
they don’t open up, stop imitating them. Instead, initiate a more
doubting posture (e.g., crossing your arms, closing your hands to
indicate how dire the situation is, etc.).

When that person begins to mirror your movements, start
questioning them more intensely. At that point, they’ve started
to follow your lead, which means they’re more susceptible to
being more truthful. Be aware of the time spent in your attempts to
extract someone’s secrets. That will also have an impact on their
willingness to separate themselves from their secrets.

Micro-expressions

There are seven micro-expressions generic to everyone on earth
– they’re displayed approximately for one-quarter of a second.
That means everyone will react the same way to the same stimuli no
matter where they live in the world. Once you become astute at
identifying micro-expressions, you’ll have additional insight per
someone’s inner emotional state. The seven micro-expressions
are.

• Fear – When detecting genuine fear, look
  for raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips with the bottom
  lip protruding downward.
• Anger – Anger is denoted by lowered
  eyebrows and flaring nostrils reminiscent of a bull before
  charging.
• Disgust – This micro-expression is
  displayed by the upper lip turned up, while the nose is
  wrinkled.
• Surprise – You’ll recognize surprise
  through raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and open mouth.
• Contempt – This gesture appears as a sneer.
  You’ll note it by one corner of the mouth turned upward.
• Sadness – Note sadness through drooping
  eyelids and downturned lips. A change in voice inflection and
  tonality may also accompany genuine sorrow.
• Happiness – Happiness is shown through
  wide-eyes with crow’s feet or wrinkles at their corners, a smile,
  and raised cheeks. A degree of exuberance may also accompany this
  gesture.

Click here to hear more about the seven micro-expressions that are
generic to everyone on earth.

Reflection

When you’re questioning someone, their heightening degree of
stress signals how close you are to exposing their secrets. Be
aware of those signals. Noting them will allow you to unlock more
secrets. It will also be an indicator that you’re reading their
body language accurately. And everything will be right with the
world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at
https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d
like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the
Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click
here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Secrets #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage
#readingbodylanguage #Negotiations #Control #Conversations
#NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess
#NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples
#NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage
#Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation
#Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception
#emotionalcontrol #relationships
#BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite
#TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success
#negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation
process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types
#negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement
#howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development
#Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful
#HowToImproveyourself

The post
“How To Expose Hidden Secrets By Reading Body Language” –
Negotiation Tip of the Week appeared first on The Master Negotiator &
Body Language Expert.

Sometimes we have to
lose something to gain a closer relationship
Image Credit:
Delete

When we negotiate, it’s all about winning.
Our goal is to use our negotiation styles and negotiating
techniques to create a deal that the other side will agree with and
which is a win for us.
We can define a “win” in a lot of different ways: a lower
price, a higher price, more time to deliver, delivery sooner then
expected, etc. However, somewhat surprisingly, not all negotiations
work out this way. Sometimes lose-lose is the way that you want to
go.

It’s All About BATNA Power

When we negotiate, we take into the negotiations some basic
assumptions about what it is going to take to reach an agreement
with the other side of the table. We believe that we are going to
have to reconcile each side’s different interests in the pursuit
of dispute resolution. However, this assumption often assumes that
a negotiated agreement will offers us a more desirable
win-win negotiation scenario. However, this is where we
may be wrong. Sometimes lose-lose outcomes are
your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) in
mediation scenarios.

The people who study how we conduct our negotiations have
reached some conclusions. They believe that when we are focused on
attempting to create a win-win outcome from a negotiation, there is
a very good chance that we’ll be able to do this at the
expense of relationship building. Popular literature is
filled with stories about people who each make a sacrifice in order
to provide their partner with something. When they discover that
the other has given something precious to them up in order to get a
gift for them, instead of damaging the relationship, it causes the
relationship to become deeper. This is something that we have the
ability to accomplish in our negotiations.

How About If We Improve This Relationship?

Perhaps what all of us need to develop is a new way of
looking at our negotiations. In the heat of the moment it
can be all too easy to forget that every negotiation that we engage
in may just be one of many that we’ll eventually have with the
people that we are negotiating with. What this means is that what
is even more important than the agreement that we may be able to
reach during this negotiation is our long-term relationship with
the other side. What this means for us in the short-run is that it
may be in our best interest to forgo economic value in favor of
improving our relationship with the other side.

The people who study how we negotiate have reached the
conclusion that the variables that improve economic performance
may actually harm bargaining relationships.
Studies have been conducted where negotiators have been told that
they are working for different companies. One company is focused on
being a successful company and the other is focused on helping
people. When the participants negotiated, the researchers
discovered that those who worked for the company that valued people
achieved less joint gain at the bargaining table than did those
pairs working for the successful company. However, those in the
successful company came to less equal negotiated agreements.
Negotiators from the company who cared about people placed much
greater value on their relationship with the other side than did
the negotiators from the successful company.

So what does all of this mean for us? Researchers believe that
what negotiators need to do is to shift their attention from
negotiations in which they are focused on trying to create the most
value. Instead they argue, what we should be doing is
focusing on relationship building. This, of
course, brings up a very important question: are the two goals
truly incompatible? It turns out that the best route during a
negotiation is to focus on creating strong relationships and using
the openness and honesty that comes with a strong relationship to
maximize mutual gains in negotiation scenarios.

What All Of This Means For You

We’ve all be taught that the reason that we engage in a
principled negotiation is because the other side has something that
we want. This means that our goal during a negotiation is to
attempt to create a deal in which both parties can walk away
believing that they got the most out of the talks. However, it
turns out that we may be mistaken here. There are some
cases in which perhaps a lose-lose result would be the best outcome
for our negotiation.

The mistake that we may be making in our negotiations is that
we view a win-win outcome as the only acceptable
outcome. When we create a BATNA for our negotiation, what
we need to realize that that perhaps a lose-lose outcome might be
the best result for both parties. There will be times when a
win-win outcome can only be gained at the expense of the
relationship that we have with the other side. We need to keep in
mind that every negotiation that we engage in is perhaps only one
of many that we’ll have with the other side. What this means is
that a short-term economic gain may not be as valuable as a
longer-term relationship improvement. The variables that improve
economic performance may actually harm bargaining relationships.
This means that what we need to be doing is instead of focusing on
creating value we need to be focusing on building
relationships.

As negotiators we need to realize that every negotiation that we
engage in has a desired outcome. All too often we
believe that there is only one outcome that we need to achieve:
win-win. However, it turns out that there is something more
important than a deal that will come out of a negotiation: a better
relationship with the other side. If it turns out that reaching a
win-win deal with the other side would damage our relationship with
them, then in this case we need to be satisfied with a lose-lose
outcome and an improved relationship.

– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue
Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills

Question For You: Do you think that you should tell the
other side that you are willing to settle for a lose-lose deal in
order to improve your relationship with them?

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Accidental Negotiator Blog is updated.

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

It eventually happens to all of us: you are in the middle of
negotiation when you realized that things have become deadlocked.
There are a lot of different ways that you may have found yourself
in this situation such as after both sides have used their
negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to exchange a series
of offers and counteroffers. With each of you stuck in your very
different positions, you can’t seem to find a solution
that pleases you both. What’s a negotiator to do
now?

The post
Is “Lose-Lose” The Right Way To Conduct A Negotiation?
appeared first on The
Accidental Negotiator.

Use the following four
techniques to gain the advantage in your next negotiation
Image
Credit: Miguel Tejada-Flores

When you are negotiating a sale, you’d like to be able to use
your negotiation styles and negotiating techniques get the other
side to agree to the offer that you are making to
them. There are a number of different ways to make this
happen. In sales negotiations, making the first offer is often a
smart move. The reason that this is a good idea is because the
first offer can anchor the discussion that follows and can have a
powerful effect on the final outcome. However, if the other side
moves faster than you and they make the first offer,
you’ll need to be prepared to frame your counteroffer
carefully. You are going to need some sales negotiation
techniques to get what you want.

Take Time To Choose The Best Rationale

When we are negotiating with someone, it turns out that there
are two different
types of rational that we can use. The first is called a
constraint rational and it focuses on what’s holding you back
from accepting the other side’s offer. The second is called a
disparagement rational and it critiques what the other party is
offering—for example, by suggesting the quality is low. These two
rationals have different effectiveness. Sellers were significantly
more swayed by buyers’ constraint rationales than by their
disparagement rationales. The big question is why. Sellers may view
the criticism in a disparagement rationale as being both inaccurate
and rude, and react by standing firm on their price. Secondly, when
buyers describe their financial constraints, sellers may take them
at their word when they say they can’t afford the deal that is on
the table. What this means is that a buyer is likely to get a
better deal if he accompanies his counteroffer with
information about what his financial constraints are than
if he tries to diminish the value of what’s being sold. Likewise,
a seller facing a buyer’s first offer may get a better deal if
she says she can’t afford to go lower than if she disparages the
buyer’s BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement).

Focus On Losses Rather Than Gains

Research has shown that the people that you will be negotiating
with are more motivated to avoid losses than they are to
achieve gains. In a series of experiments, people were
pitched a product that would either save them money or would
prevent them from losing money. It turns out that people were more
willing to purchase the product that would prevent them from losing
money. Since losses weigh heavily on our minds, if you frame the
exact same price as a loss it will likely have a greater effect
than framing it as a gain.

Divide Losses; But Combine Gains

You would think that how people acquire money or how
they lose it would not matter all that much – it’s the
final value that really counts. However, it turns out that this is
not true. Research has shown that people prefer to gain money in
installments but to lose money in one lump sum. As an example of
this, people would enjoy finding a $50 bill for two days in a row
rather than just finding $100. Likewise, if they had to lose it,
they’d prefer to lost $100 all at once instead of losing $50 two
days in a row. What all of this means for you is that in the
process of business negotiation, when making a price concession, it
can be smart to offer it as two or more smaller concessions. But
when asking the other side for a concession on price, make one
demand rather than two or more partial demands.

You’ll Want To Avoid Overjustifying Your Offers

It turns out that even a lame justification for a first
offer can be more effective than not making any
justification at all. Likewise, people tend to rebel against more
significant requests with weak justifications. As negotiators what
we need to understand is that when a justification for an offer is
easy to counter, it can inspire a backlash. This means that if you
are a salesperson who has already shown off the many attractive
features of your product, you can let your first price offer stand
on its own – no need to make more offers.

What All Of This Means For You

Our goal during a principled negotiation is to present
an offer to the other side that they can agree to. Making
the first offer is a good way to steer things in our direction.
However, if the other side beats us to the punch and makes the
first offer, we are going to have to get creative. By using the
correct set of sales techniques, we can steer the negotiation back
in the direction that we want it to go.

There are a couple of different rationals that you can use in a
negotiation, constraint rational and disparagement
rational. Make sure that you are using the correct one for
your negotiating situation. During a negotiation we should focus on
losses instead of gains because the people that you are negotiating
with are more motivated to avoid losses than they are to achieve
gains. How people gain and lose money matters to them. It turns out
that people prefer to gain money in installments but to lose money
in one lump sum. Justifications can be a powerful negotiating tool.
Even a lame justification for a first offer can be more effective
than not making any justification at all.

During a negotiation you are going to want to take the time to
frame your offer to the other side in a way that will boost
your chances of them accepting it. Using the techniques
that we’ve discussed, you will have a chance to re-anchor your
negotiations and find a way to get the deal that you are looking
for. Take the time to craft your offer in order to boost its appeal
to the other side.

– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue
Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills

Question For You: If the gains are greater than the
losses for your offer, how should you present this to the other
side?

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

When we negotiate, it’s all about winning.
Our goal is to use our negotiation styles and negotiating
techniques to create a deal that the other side will agree with and
which is a win for us.
We can define a “win” in a lot of different ways: a lower
price, a higher price, more time to deliver, delivery sooner then
expected, etc. However, somewhat surprisingly, not all negotiations
work out this way. Sometimes lose-lose is the way that you want to
go.

The post
Sales Negotiation Techniques That Work appeared first on
The Accidental
Negotiator.

Every negotiation comes
with its own set of potential pitfalls
Image Credit: jason
gessner

Not every negotiation that we are involved in will work out for
us. In fact, some of them will fail. When we think of failed
negotiations, generally we picture negotiators walking away from
the table in disappointment. It turns out that that’s only one
type of disappointing negotiation. It turns out that there
is another type of failure when it comes to negotiating. A
negotiation can be considered to be a failure when both sides come
to regret the deal over time as well as those deals that fall apart
during implementation. As negotiators, we need to learn how to
avoid creating deals that will become failures.

We Walk Away From A Good Deal

Not every negotiation that we will be involved will proceed
smoothly. There will be times that after using all of our
negotiation styles and negotiating techniques we reach an impasse
even though
our best alternative to a negotiated agreement, BATNA, is worse
than the deal that’s on the table. There are a lot of things that
can contribute to this situation including strong emotions,
threats, and overconfidence.

Threats are a powerful negotiating tool. As
negotiators we need to understand that when we issue a threat,

we need to be sure that we will feel comfortable implementing our
BATNA in the event that the other side refuses to meet our
demands. To make sure that you don’t get into a tricky
situation, before you issue a threat, carefully analyze your BATNA,
compare it to the deal on the table, and then make the most
rational choice—as painful as that sometimes can be.

We Make A Deal That We Later Regret

We are always looking for the deal that is the best for us. We
can make a mistake and reject a deal that turned out to be
better than our BATNA was. At the same time, we can find
ourselves accepting a deal that’s worse than our BATNA. This can
occur because we’re often unaware that we’ve left value on the
negotiating table until later.

We need to keep in mind that in all types of business
negotiations, it’s tempting to cut corners on due
diligence. We tend to do things like this when goodwill
and enthusiasm are running high. The wise negotiator considers the
potential risks and downsides of a deal as thoroughly as possible
in order to not make a mistake.

We Negotiate A Deal That’s Too Weak To Last For Long

Good negotiators understand that a negotiation extends on long
after the discussions are over. Any deal that is reached is going
to have to be implemented by both sides. That’s why a failure in
negotiations is an agreement that reaches the finish line
but quickly falls apart during the implementation
phase. Such deals often collapse due to a negotiator’s
failure to confront conflict during negotiations or to give the
deal a sound structure.

Negotiators need to understand that if mistrust exists between
both sides, then any deal that we’re going to be able to reach
will end up becoming spoiled during the implementation
phase. The best negotiators take the time to build rapport
and trust throughout the negotiation process, and negotiate the
terms of implementation thoroughly.

What All Of This Means For You

The reason that we’re willing to invest the time, energy, and
effort into a principled negotiation is because we believe that we
can create a deal that both sides will agree to. However,
negotiations can fail. What this means is that we
were either not able to reach a deal with the other side or we did
reach a deal, but it was a bad deal. No matter the cause,
negotiators need to understand what a bad deal looks like so that
we can avoid making them.

Negotiating failures can take on many different forms. One type
of negotiation failure happens when we walk away from a
deal that would have been good for us. One of the reasons
that this may happen is because we decided to use threats that
ended up forcing us to walk away. We can also enter into deal that
we’ll end up regretting later on. If we cut corners and don’t
do our due diligence, then we may end up accepting a deal that is
no good for us. We can also negotiate a deal that turns out to be
too weak to last. These deals tend to fall apart during the
implementation phase.

In order to be viewed as being a successful negotiator, we need
to be able to create deals that will be beneficial to both
sides. If the deals that we are putting together become
failures, then nobody is going to want to negotiate with us. Take
the time to carefully look at the deal that you are working on and
make sure that it’s going to create a deal that will be
beneficial to both sides.

– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue
Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills

Question For You: What can you do during a negotiation
to ensure that a deal will be able to be implemented successfully
by both sides?

Click
here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Negotiator Blog
is updated.

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

I can only speak for myself, but I have no problem sharing with
you that during a negotiation I can become very, very frustrated
with how things are going. No matter if your negotiation styles and
negotiating techniques are causing things to go too slow, go off in
the wrong direction, or, even worse, not go anywhere. I
start to become angrier and angrier as time passes. This,
of course, leads to a fairly classic negotiating question. When you
become angry during a negotiation,
should you hide your emotions or should you show them to the other
side?

The post
Three Reasons Why Your Next Negotiation Could Fail appeared
first on The
Accidental Negotiator.

When you have an
impasse, you need to find ways to resolve it
Image
Credit: Terry Robinson

It eventually happens to all of us: you are in the middle of
negotiation when you realized that things have become deadlocked.
There are a lot of different ways that you may have found yourself
in this situation such as after both sides have used their
negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to exchange a series
of offers and counteroffers. With each of you stuck in your very
different positions, you can’t seem to find a solution
that pleases you both. What’s a negotiator to do
now?

The Power Of MESOs

If you find yourself in a deadlocked situation, try something
new. Instead of making just one offer at a time, instead
try issuing multiple equivalent simultaneous offers, or
MESOs. By presenting multiple offers at the same time, you
are likely to boost the other side’s satisfaction while also
increasing your chances of coming to agreement

When you are going to use an MESO, you need to fully understand
the best way to introduce them into your negotiation. The first
step when using the MESO approach is to determine which of
the issues on the table are the most important to you. The
best way to go about doing this is to create a scoring system.

When you score the issues that are being negotiated, this can be
used to eliminate the issues that really don’t matter all that
much to you. Based on how you have scored the issues that are being
negotiated, you will then be able to rank the deals that
are being discussed based on how they deal with these
issues.

How To Use MESOs

Having put together your MESOs, you can then present
them to the other side. Instead of telling the other side
that you may value various offers equally, explain that you want
him to choose the offer that’s best for him. If they reject all
the offers, ask them to tell you which one they prefer. Their
response will give you valuable information about how to fine-tune
your next proposal.

Based on research that has been done, it has been shown that the
MESOs approach succeeds because it takes both parties’
interests into account. The result of this is that it can
improve each negotiators’ outcomes and satisfaction.

When a negotiator is using a MESO in a negotiation, they will
need to be careful. There are three specific issues that
negotiators need to be aware of. First, because MESOs
contain a great deal of information about your interests, you
should counterbalance such offers by anchoring your offers to your
advantage. All of your offers should exceed your target price or
ideal outcome to allow some wiggle room for follow-on negotiation.
Second, a smart other side may try to pick the best elements of
each proposal in order to create a new deal that works against you.
You need to deal with such attempts by using your scoring system to
come up with three new offers that respond to the other side’s
priorities without sacrificing your own goals. Third, because the
abundant choices offered by MESOs could be easily become
overwhelming, you are going to want to avoid presenting more than
three offers at a time.

What All Of This Means For You

It’s a fact of negotiating life: deadlocks do
occur. As negotiators we need to understand that this is
something that we have to be ready to deal with. Everyone will have
dug into their position and will be unwilling to move. This is when
it’s going to be time for you to get creative in order to get
this principled negotiation back on track.

One of the best ways to get around a deadlock when it shows up
is to present the other side with multiple equivalent
simultaneous offers, or MESOs. By doing this you can
present the other side with more choices which can lead to a boost
in their level of satisfaction with the negotiations. Before
offering a MESO, you can take the time to score the issues that are
on the table so that you can determine which packages of deals will
best meet your needs. When using MESOs you need to be careful.
MESOs contain a lot of information about your negotiating position
and so you need to be careful how you present them. The other side
may try to pick from the multiple offers in order to create a new
offer and you have to be careful to not overwhelm the other side
with too many offers.

Deadlocks can derail a negotiation. In order to ensure that this
does not happen, we need to come up with a way to get the
other side to be willing to keep things moving along. One
of the best ways to make this happen is to use a MESO to present
the other side with a series of offers that will allow them to show
you what kind of deal they are looking for. The next time a
negotiation slows down, use MESOs to get things moving once
again.

– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue
Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills

Question For You: Do you think that you should make
three offers as a part of a MESO or should you make
more?

Click
here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Negotiator Blog
is updated.

P.S.: Free subscriptions to The Accidental Negotiator
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job. Subscribe now: Click
Here!

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

Not every negotiation that we are involved in will work out for
us. In fact, some of them will fail. When we think of failed
negotiations, generally we picture negotiators walking away from
the table in disappointment. It turns out that that’s only one
type of disappointing negotiation. It turns out that there
is another type of failure when it comes to negotiating. A
negotiation can be considered to be a failure when both sides come
to regret the deal over time as well as those deals that fall apart
during implementation. As negotiators, we need to learn how to
avoid creating deals that will become failures.

The post
Dealing With Deadlocks: How To Get Around An Impasse appeared
first on The
Accidental Negotiator.

When conflict arises
during a negotiation, it needs to be resolved
Image Credit:
Matthew Wilkinson

Negotiating is all about having a discussion with the other side
while using your negotiation styles and negotiating techniques with
the hope of changing the way that they see the world. As expected,
this kind of change does not always happen easily –
a negotiation can cause conflicts to occur. When an issue
flares up and conflict resolution is required, the outcome can be
predictable: the conflict gets bigger and bigger, with each side
blaming the other in increasingly angry terms. The dispute may end
up in litigation, and the relationship may be forever damaged. As
negotiators, what we need are negotiation strategies that
we can use to resolve situations like this.

Don’t Let Yourself be Provoked Into An Emotional Response

As negotiators we typically make several “moves” in order to
question each other’s legitimacy and assert our own power. This
type of “shadow negotiation”, which takes
place under the surface of a negotiation, helps to explain why
discussions of concrete, seemingly rational issues can lead to
angry outbursts, hurt feelings, and simmering conflict.

By demeaning, challenging, and criticizing you, the other side
may be attempting to provoke you into an emotional response
that will shift the balance of power in their
favor. So how can you defend yourself against such moves
without being accused of overreacting?

Interrupt the other side’s move by taking a break, which
should give everyone time to gain control of their
emotions, in addition to halting any momentum that is
going against you. Try naming the move; that is, let the other side
know that you recognize it as a power play. Correct the move,
substituting the other side’s negative remarks with a more
positive interpretation. Finally, divert the move by shifting the
focus back to the issue at hand.

Don’t Walk Away From Value-Creating Strategies

Negotiators who understand the
importance of collaborating with one another to create value
will often abandon that approach during dispute
resolution. They treat disputes as different from other
aspects of negotiating and so they tend to view business dispute
resolution as a zero-sum game—one in which only a single issue is
at stake. The result of this is that they tend to look at the
dispute resolution process as a win-lose battle, to their
detriment.

You should be able to find the same set of
value-creation opportunities in disputes as you do in other
deals. If both parties would likely suffer reputational
damage if their dispute went public, then they might agree to keep
certain aspects of their dispute resolution process confidential.
Reaching agreement on seemingly smaller issues can help parties
build a foundation of trust and optimism that enables them to
collaborate to resolve the main sources of their conflict.

Understand That Time Is Your Friend

How we view the dispute resolution process may change
over time as a result of our experiences dealing with the
conflict and with the other side. Rather than viewing your dispute
as permanently intractable, try to view it as being constantly in
flux.

It helps to remain in contact with the other side during
dispute resolution. Doing so may allow you to encourage
them that your existing approaches to the conflict resolution are
not working and that the prospect of negotiating offers some hope
of improvement. When negotiators recognize the importance of
meeting regularly, they may be able to slowly work through their
differences.

Another reason time can be your friend in dispute resolution?
The departure of divisive leaders on one side of the conflict or
the other can offer new hope for resolution after some time
has passed. Take advantage of such changes by making a new
settlement proposal, perhaps working through a mediator or other
third party if necessary

What All Of This Means For You

Emotion plays a big role in every principled
negotiation. Because of this, there is a very real
possibility that conflict will occur during the negotiation. As
negotiators, we need to understand this and we need to make sure
that we have the tools that will be required to reach a peaceful
end to our dispute.

During a negotiation you want to make sure that you don’t
allow the other side to provoke you into making an
emotional response. During a negotiation each side will
make multiple moves, you need to be prepared to defend yourself
when the other side tries to provoke you and shift the balance of
power to their side. Negotiators understand the value of
collaboration in a negotiation; however, when there is conflict we
can walk away from this. We need to look for value creation
opportunities even when there is conflict. Negotiators need to
understand that that time is on their side. Everything changes over
time and if we can just keep moving forward often conflicts can
work themselves out.

In every negotiation that we participate in there will
always be some conflict. What we need to understand is
that we don’t want to allow ourselves to get emotionally drawn
into this and instead we want to use the conflict to find ways to
move closer to closing a deal. The next time that conflict comes up
in your negotiation, take a step back and search for a way to
resolve things peacefully.

– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue
Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills

Question For You: If you find yourself becoming
emotional because of conflict in a negotiation, what can you do to
calm yourself down?

Click
here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Negotiator Blog
is updated.

P.S.: Free subscriptions to The Accidental Negotiator
Newsletter are now available. Learn what you need to know to do the
job. Subscribe now: Click
Here!

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

It goes without saying that when we sit down at the negotiating
table, both sides have a different view of the world. We both want
something and in order to get what we want, the other side is going
to have to be willing to give something up. The fact that we all
have different preferences means that if we are not careful our
negotiations can grind to a halt. What we need to get good at is
using our negotiation styles and negotiating techniques
tofind ways to create mutually beneficial
agreements during our negotiations that both sides will be
able to live with.

The post
Dealing With Conflict During A Negotiation appeared first on
The Accidental
Negotiator.

Sometimes the other
side may have a problem telling the truth
Image Credit:
cybaea

The goal of any negotiation is to find a way to reach an
agreement with the other side of the table. The challenge that we
run into during this process is that no matter what negotiation
styles or negotiating techniques are being used we need to
understand what the other side wants and the only way that we can
get that information is if they tell us. However, sometimes we run
into situations where the other side is not telling us the truth
– they lie. When we find ourselves in these
situations, it’s going to be even more of a challenge to reach an
agreement with the other side. We need to know what action to take
based on what kind of lies are being told.

Bottom Line Lies

I’m pretty sure that every time we walk into a negotiation, we
have an expectation that the other side is not going to be
forthcoming about a number of things. One thing in particular that
we can expect them to fudge the truth on has to do with
what their bottom line is. We should expect that
any statements that they make about how high (or low) they are
willing to go should be viewed with some suspicion.

In order to prepare for this kind of information hiding, you
need to take the time before the negotiation starts to
research the other side. Make sure that you
understand the background for any claims that they make and see if
you can talk to other negotiators to find out more about their
reputation. Always make sure that you know what your alternatives
to doing business with them are just in case you feel that they
simply can’t be trusted enough to do a deal with.

Offers That Are Too Good To Be True

As negotiators, our goal in every negotiation is to reach the
best deal possible with the other side. However, sometimes the
other side is going to present you with a deal that strikes you as
being just a bit too good to be fully believed.
This can be especially troubling if you don’t know the people
sitting on the other side very well – can you trust what they are
telling you? Why would they present you with such an offer?

Their motivations can be many. One reason that a
too-good-to-be-true offer might be presented would be to get you to
commit to a low price which would then allow the other side to
swing around and attempt to add additional deal terms that
you would find to be less than desirable. As a negotiator
you need to remain alert for this kind of ploy. Watch for questions
from the other side that they state hypothetically such as “Would
you be willing to purchase this today for X amount?” If you hear
this, you need to ask for wording that is more specific and, of
course, ask to see it in writing.

Expensive Deals

Negotiations can take a great deal of time, energy, and effort
to complete successfully. You may find yourself in a situation
where you have spent a lot of time and perhaps a lot of money to
move a negotiation along towards a deal. All of sudden the
other side starts to make significant changes to what is being
negotiated and what they are willing to agree to.

The reason that they are doing this is because they fully
understand how much you already have invested in this negotiation.
They are betting that you are not going to be willing to walk away
from this kind of investment empty handed. You need to be able to
show a return for the investment that you’ve made. This is the
time that you need to remember that you are dealing with
so-called “sunk costs” here. Sunk costs, once
expended, are gone forever. You need to get comfortable with the
idea of walking away from a deal that is no longer a good deal for
you.

No Tit-For-Tat

In order to reach a deal with the other side, we always have to
make some concessions to them. When we do this, we have an
expectation based on the
rule of reciprocity that they will make a concession to
us. The concession that they make to us has to be roughly
equivalent to the one that we are making to them. Where we can run
into problems is if they are not making matching concessions.

There are a couple of ways that this can happen. They may not
make a concession to you when you make a concession to them.
Alternatively, they make only say that they are going to make a
matching concession to you and not actually do it. If you find
yourself in this situation, then you need to realize that you are
not going to be able to reach a deal with the other side. You need
to stop the negotiations, tell the other side that you have an
expectation of matching concessions, and then be willing to
get up and walk away if they don’t change their
ways.

Changes Once The Deal Is Done

The end of a negotiation is one of the most dangerous times for
a negotiator. This is when the other side may start to try to make
changes that you should not be willing to go along with. The way
that this most commonly plays out is that the negotiation is
getting ready to wrap up and there is a deal on the table for both
sides to sign. It is at this time that the other side asks
you for a small change before the signatures have been
made.

The thinking behind this kind of
“nibble” behavior is that you are so eager to get this deal
done that you will agree to just about anything at this point in
time just to get the deal signed. Once you agree to one request,
you can expect several more requests to show up until you finally
say no. The other side’s goal here is to make the deal as
good for them as possible. What you need to do if this
situation arises is to tell the other side that you won’t agree
to any of their requests unless they are willing to make matching
concessions to you.

What All Of This Means For You

The reason that we are willing to negotiate with people is
because we believe that we can reach a deal with
them. However, during the course of a principled
negotiation we may discover that the other side is not being fully
honest with us. If this happens, then we have to decide what action
we are going to take. You need to match your actions to their level
of dishonesty.

The most common form of dishonesty in a negotiation has to do
with the other side’s bottom (or top) line. You are going to have
to do research before the negotiations start and check with other
negotiators in order to determine just how truthful you
think that they will be. Sometimes when we are
negotiating, the other side will present us with a deal that seems
to be too good to be true. When this happens become suspicious and
get it in writing. A negotiation takes a great deal of effort on
your part. The other side knows this and after a while they may
present you with a bad deal that they think that you won’t walk
away from because of your investment in the negotiation. During a
negotiation you’ll need to make concessions to the other side.
When you do, make sure that they are making similar concessions to
you. When the deal is almost done, keep your eyes open to see if
the other side tries to slip in last minute changes because they
think that you are focused on just signing the deal.

In a perfect world, the other side in a negotiation would always
honest with you. Unfortunately none of us live in a perfect world
and that means that we can’t always trust what the other
side is telling us. When we think that they may be lying
to us, we need to take an appropriate action. During your next
negotiation be sure to keep your eyes open and detect if the other
side starts to be less than honest with you. React correctly and
you may still have a chance to reach a deal with them that you can
live with.

– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue
Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills

Question For You: If the other side is lying to you, at
what point in time do you think that you should stand up and walk
away?

Click
here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Negotiator Blog
is updated.

P.S.: Free subscriptions to The Accidental Negotiator
Newsletter are now available. Learn what you need to know to do the
job. Subscribe now: Click
Here!

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

Negotiating is all about having a discussion with the other side
while using your negotiation styles and negotiating techniques with
the hope of changing the way that they see the world. As expected,
this kind of change does not always happen easily –
a negotiation can cause conflicts to occur. When an issue
flares up and conflict resolution is required, the outcome can be
predictable: the conflict gets bigger and bigger, with each side
blaming the other in increasingly angry terms. The dispute may end
up in litigation, and the relationship may be forever damaged. As
negotiators, what we need are negotiation strategies that
we can use to resolve situations like this.

The post
How To Deal With Negotiators Who Lie appeared first on The Accidental
Negotiator.